Real Talk About Real Bodies on the Messy Road to Motherhood

Now, this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down...

My life did get flipped – turned upside down, I’m not the Prince of Bel-Air – that wasn’t my story.

What I’m going to tell you is how I ended up sitting in the dark at roughly 3 in the morning, listening to my husband snoring next to me and cradling this amazing, shiny new person in my arms while they fed.

The Path That Changed Everything

The path to motherhood wasn’t easy. It was full of pain, anger, confusion, stunned silence, hope, and oh, so many tears. Getting pregnant wasn’t a slam dunk – it was more like a test of strength, tenacity, and introspection.

In short, this is about IBD, fertility struggles, blind prejudice toward women in their 40s, listening to people you think are experts, finding yourself in premature ovarian failure, donor eggs, bucket loads of tears (did I mention those?), and clinging to the power of positive daydreaming.

Now in the darkness, feeding my baby and listening to the heartbeat of white noise, I find peace. This challenging path led me to the most incredible gift, and I wouldn’t change them for the world.

I’m grateful every day to Marco, my family, and friends who stood by me every step of the way.

Why I'm Sharing This Story

I’m writing this blog for two reasons:

First, it’s a way of processing the events of the last five years – a cathartic release that allows me to be present with my wonderful little family. (Yes, I’m still working on my trust issues with medical professionals; it’ll just take some time.)

Second, I want to reach out to those who, despite being surrounded by love and support, feel like they’re standing alone in the dark. I hope that sharing my journey makes someone feel a little less alone, find a little comfort, and maybe some hope or inspiration. Whatever it is, I hope to make someone feel a little better, even just for a moment.

What You Can Expect

This blog is raw and unfiltered. It’s simply an account of my story as I see it.

A word of caution: Fertility clinics are experts in getting you pregnant, not necessarily in reproductive health. If I had gone to a women’s natural health clinic before the fertility clinic, it may have changed my story entirely.

Please understand – this isn’t a manual on what to do. It’s a reflection of my personal journey and the choices that worked for me. In medicine, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. You are a vital piece of your healthcare puzzle, and your voice deserves to be heard.

A Note About the NHS

I’d like to add an important caveat: I have the utmost respect for the NHS and all the frontline staff who show up daily and work tirelessly to heal us – often overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated. Many loved ones, including myself, owe their health to the NHS.

Join the Conversation

I encourage you to share your stories and experiences in the comments. This is a space for support, shared experiences, and informed discussion – free from judgment and bullying. I hope this blog offers you comfort and strength.

Take care and stay strong.

Annique 💖